Could go on at greater length, but everything seems black and nasty tonight. Finances are the acute worry, but that triggers the whole "Who am I? What do I want to do? Would anyone care if I vanished off the face of the earth? Would anyone even notice? And why doesn't anyone want to play with me?" (The latter applying in many areas of life, from sex to MMORPG's.)
Also feeling largely friendless, which is highly unfair to my friends.
Probably not going to be able to see my therapist next week either --not that I really think it would help -- because they're probably going to send me out of town again, on a work assignment for which I won't get paid (a) enough, or (b) till the following pay period. This job just ain't for me. I need something steady and predictable.
And, I forgot to watch My Name is Earl. Which isn't really depressing, but it is annoying.
Your Christmas/Hanukkah Present/ NOIR, Chapter One
10 months ago